It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
