I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
