What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
