According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think people are normalizing furries
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
