lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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