batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
