And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Fuck appropriateness.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
