why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
