he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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