And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
