I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
and she was petting her beer can
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's blow job season.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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