Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
