Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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