I want to make a zoo with you.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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