dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
are you so shy because you have an std?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
