Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
