I never want to see another naked old woman again.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
