u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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