its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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