FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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