I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
