how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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