Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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