guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
