we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
