Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
