So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
