Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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