shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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