dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
