It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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