dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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