someone owes me an orgasm
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
