For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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