Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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