I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
