I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
There's always time for handjobs
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
