Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
