Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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