No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
