Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize
