Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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