does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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