dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
