Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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