dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We need to get me chipped asap
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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