I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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