Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
