it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
