Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
