Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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