i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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