Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize