I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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