Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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