Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
