it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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