I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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