I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
