So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
