Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
