you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
