I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
