I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
