i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
