Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I've blown a few things in my day
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
