...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
